FIRST WEDNESDAY COMEDY SHOWCASE: THE JULES POSNER SHOW AT MADRONE ART BAR

Tonight, 7p - 9p, at Madrone Art Bar, 500 Divisadero, it's The Jules Posner Show. NO COVER comedy featuring Brendan Lynch, Daryus Monday, Adrian Palenchar, Nick Palm, Katie Compa, Al Cox and others. It's FREE y'all, 'til you buy a drink.

Not sure what to order at the Madrone? They've got a marvelous drink menu, inspired by some people who might have been dead before you were born, but hey -- that's life.

The Heidi Fleiss: House Infused Peach Vodka, St Germain, Lime & Mango Nector
The Evil Knieval: Right Gin, Luxardo, Creme de Violette, Lemon
The Jack Tripper: Gentleman Jack, Lynchburg Lemonade and Cranberry Juice
The Steve McQueen: Bulleit Bourbon, Punt E Mess, Barrel Aged Bitters
The Tina Louise: House Infused Ginger Vodka, Lemonade
The Hunter S. Thompson: A Coors and a shot of Wild Turkey
The Lola: House Infused Cucumber Vodka, Ginger Beer and Lime

and, don't forget the house signature drink: THE IKE TURNER: A shot of Hennessy and a slap on the face.

Have you been there lately? More info here.

LOWER HAIGHT MONSTER MASH PUB CRAWL TONIGHT

Seven pubs, seven drinks, $30 (for a good cause). Costumes encouraged (but not required, but after the third or fourth pub you'll wish you were wearing one, so c'mon!!)

Starts at 7 pm tonight at Danny Coyle's, 668 Haight Street, where you can buy a ticket. Or buy your ticket today at Lower Haters (597 Haight St.) or Rooky Ricardo's (448 Haight St.).

$30; proceeds go to benefit John Muir Elementary PTA. Raffle prizes and drinks included. Stops are scheduled for Molotov's, Noc Noc, Toronado, Mad Dog in the Fog, Nickie's and Underground SF.

SISTERS STILL DOIN' IT FOR THEMSELVES -- EASTER WEEKEND

While the rest of the world's got the Pope to handle their Easter blessing, San Francisco's got the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence to guide us through the Easter holiday weekend. Thank Gawd!

There's a Nun World Order in town as the Sisters celebrate 30 (count 'em 30!) years of outrageously good deeds.

Events range from FREE to suggested $10 donation, starting on Holy Thursday in the Mission, moving on to the Yerba Buena Center for the Arts on Good Friday night, an unholy Saturday night beer bust at the Eagle Tavern and the traditional Easter Sunday bash in Dolores Park. Not to be missed -- the Hunky Jesus contest starts at 3 pm sharp.

After the crown of thorns is placed on this year's Jesus hottie, follow the party from the park to Cafe Flore and the Lookout Cafe for the Sisters' after-party, called (you guessed it)...Afterbirth!

What do you mean Easter wasn't like this back in Kansas?

(Photo courtesy of KT Drasky)

BRING YOUR OWN DINNER - TO THE CANDYBAR

Your mom always said you had to eat your dinner before you could have dessert. But what do you do when you head to Candybar, the West Addy's hot-a-licious dessert bar, just steps off the Divisadero Corridor (1335 Fulton) and dessert is the main course?

BYOD -- that's bring your own dinner!

Open Tuesdays through Sundays at 6 pm. $2 beer and wine and $5 sparkling wine drinks at Happy Hour. Your own delicious dinner food welcome. Candy Bar will even provide the soundtrack...and silverware.

BROKE ASS STUART'S F*CK THE RECESSION PARTY - THIS WEEK

You've got to RSVP for this one -- and for $5 Broke Ass Stuart's Fuck the Recession Party, Wednesday night, April 8, at the Rickshaw Stop is gonna fill up fast.

Not only is Stuart buying the beer -- the original San Francisco broke ass has lined up some serious entertainment, like live music by Sugar & Gold and Richie Cunning, DJ Citizen Ten and the peeps from the SF Indie Mart will be doing some DIY stations -- bring a t-shirt and they will silk screen it for you. Get a button. Buy a cupcake.

It all starts at 8 pm, Wednesday, April 8 at the Rickshaw Stop. But don't forget -- you got to RSVP to get a piece of this. Click here now.

ST. STUPID'S DAY PARADE TOMORROW

The First Church of the Last Laugh is hosting the 31st annual St. Stupid's Day Parade, tomorrow, April Fool's Day. 12 noon. Starts at Embarcadero Plaza (foot of Market St.) and runs through the financial district.

This year's theme -- the f'cked up economy, stupid. All participants are encouraged to

stick the head of your favorite overpaid CEO on a stick (and the amount of his/her crime)....bring PINK SLIPS and EVICTION NOTICES for the HQs of the not so free market...print your own money for bail outs, pay offs and buy ins. Fun for all ages! Drums and other noise production devices encouraged. Attend at your own risk. Watch your step. Spread the word. FREE lunch. RAIN OR SHINE. War and peace. free!! Hotcha!

But wait -- there's more! After Party at the Elbo Room (17th and Valencia) starts at 9 pm on April Fool's Night.

FREE OPEN MIC TONIGHT AT HOTEL UTAH

Nothing like a little FREE open mic action to get your week rolling. Drop by the Hotel Utah Saloon tonight at 7:30 and sign up or just sit back and listen. Hosted by JJ Shultz, they've got a house guitar, piano and PA at your service.

Tonight's featured artist is Valerie Shields and resident photographer Bridget Canfield will be in the house snapping shots.

The Hotel Utah Saloon
21+
500 4th St. @ Bryant
Drink specials 'til 8 pm and yep, they've got food, too.

ZEITGEIST BEER GARDEN

After you're through with Dolores Park, here's a way to stay outside and keep soaking up some sun and suds (no paper bag needed). The Zeitgeist's got the beer garden and the barbecue. More than 25 beers on tap, wahoo!

199 Valencia @ Duboce

The grill's been open since 11 am -- so it's got a good sizzle on by now. Burgers and ribs, and oh yeah, veggie burgers, too. And -- btw -- did you know the Zeitgeist's Bloody Marys have been voted the best in the City?

MAKE YOUR OWN MARTINI AT CORTEZ COCKTAIL COLLEGE

FREE. Third Thursday of the month -- that's tonight! -- 5:30 - 7 pm. Take a crash course in making Grey Goose vodka martinis at the Cortez Restaurant and Bar's Cortez Cocktail College.

You've got to RSVP, so send an email to: info@cortezrestaurant.com

Then, c'mon down to what we call the Tender Nob, 555 Geary at the Hotel Adagio and get ready to sample some flavored Geese, before getting a three-drink lesson from lead bartender Brandon Skaggs. After your lesson, should you still be standing, you'll have free reign over two long tables of booze, shakers, strainers, and garnishes and the opp to concoct your own Grey Goose cocktails. Sounds like (hic) a lotta fun.

HAPPY ST. PATTY'S DAY! LUCKY CHARMS SCAVENGER HUNT AT POLENG LOUNGE 2NITE

Looking for a pub crawl with a purpose? Then head thee butt over to the Poleng Lounge tonight at 6 pm and take part in the Lucky Charms Scavenger Hunt.

$10 gets you a map for the hunt -- cafes and mini-clubs along the Divisadero Corridor mostly -- places you will probably know how to get to without the map. But the $10 donation goes to the North of Panhandle Neighborhood Association (NOPNA), so why not get the map, hunt for the six lucky charms while checking out six different venues and begorra! be the first one to collect 'em all and you'll win $20 worth food and drink back where you started from at the Poleng Lounge, 1751 Fulton St.

SISTERS STILL DOIN' IT FOR THEMSELVES -- EASTER WEEKEND

While the rest of the world's got the Pope to handle their Easter blessing, San Francisco's got the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence to guide us through the Easter holiday weekend. Thank Gawd!

There's a Nun World Order in town as the Sisters celebrate 30 (count 'em 30!) years of outrageously good deeds.

Events range from FREE to suggested $10 donation, starting on Holy Thursday in the Mission, moving on to the Yerba Buena Center for the Arts on Good Friday night, an unholy Saturday night beer bust at the Eagle Tavern and the traditional Easter Sunday bash in Dolores Park. Not to be missed -- the Hunky Jesus contest starts at 3 pm sharp.

After the crown of thorns is placed on this year's Jesus hottie, follow the party from the park to Cafe Flore and the Lookout Cafe for the Sisters' after-party, called (you guessed it)...Afterbirth!

What do you mean Easter wasn't like this back in Kansas?

(Photo courtesy of KT Drasky)