MONDAY NO COVER COMEDY AT CAFE ROYALE

It's 2nd Monday No Cover Comedy tonight at Cafe Royale, starting at 7 pm. Guest host Tom Anderson and awesome lineup, including:

Sean Keane, writer for ESPN the Magazine and McSweeney's and frequent performer at the SF Punchline, San Jose Improv and Rooster T. Feathers. Winner of 2008 Twisted Biscuit comedy competition and two-time winner of Iron Comic.

Jill Bourque, creator and co-host of the international smash hit "How We First Met" and the host and producer of "Purple Onion Live".

Sheila Bryson, co-host of The Virgin Dave Show on FCC Free radio and finalist in both the 2009 Battle of the Bay and 2009 San Francisco Women's Comedy Competition.

Drew Harmon, from KRON 4 news and comedy host at Annie's Social Club.

No cover -- beer, wine, soju/sake cocktails, dinner & noshables available. Cafe Royale is located at 800 Post St @ Leavenworth in the TenderNob, so come on down!

FIRST WEDNESDAY COMEDY SHOWCASE: THE JULES POSNER SHOW AT MADRONE ART BAR

Tonight, 7p - 9p, at Madrone Art Bar, 500 Divisadero, it's The Jules Posner Show. NO COVER comedy featuring Brendan Lynch, Daryus Monday, Adrian Palenchar, Nick Palm, Katie Compa, Al Cox and others. It's FREE y'all, 'til you buy a drink.

Not sure what to order at the Madrone? They've got a marvelous drink menu, inspired by some people who might have been dead before you were born, but hey -- that's life.

The Heidi Fleiss: House Infused Peach Vodka, St Germain, Lime & Mango Nector
The Evil Knieval: Right Gin, Luxardo, Creme de Violette, Lemon
The Jack Tripper: Gentleman Jack, Lynchburg Lemonade and Cranberry Juice
The Steve McQueen: Bulleit Bourbon, Punt E Mess, Barrel Aged Bitters
The Tina Louise: House Infused Ginger Vodka, Lemonade
The Hunter S. Thompson: A Coors and a shot of Wild Turkey
The Lola: House Infused Cucumber Vodka, Ginger Beer and Lime

and, don't forget the house signature drink: THE IKE TURNER: A shot of Hennessy and a slap on the face.

Have you been there lately? More info here.

KUNG PAO KOSHER COMEDY TONIGHT AT EL RIO

It's official, comedy night has returned to El Rio, and now we're telling you about it so you can mark your calendar for every 2nd Monday of the month. It's Kung Pao Kosher Comedy -- and you don't have to be Jewish or like Chinese food to get the jokes.

7:30 pm, sliding scale $7-$15. Tonight's line-up: Dan St Paul, Aundre the Wonderwoman, Lynn Ruth Miller (a 74-year-old comic who just got started in stand-up 3 years ago), Ryan Kasmier, Erin Souza, and Lisa Geduldig (the foundress of Kung Pao Kosher Comedy).

21+. El Rio, 3158 Mission (@Cesar Chavez). And btw, it's Dollar Day all day long at El Rio today, $1 PBRs and $2 well drinks.

CINCO DE WHARF-O, LAUGH WITH FISHERMAN'S WHARF, NOT AT IT - FREE

Castagnola's is the place to be tonight at 7:00 for Cinco de Wharf-O, FREE live comedy.

When's the last time you laughed with Fisherman's Wharf, not at it?

Tonight's non-stop line-up of laughter includes: Brian King, Bill B. Blackburn, Candy Churilla, Jeff Reitman, Sam Davidoff, Robb McCulloch, Scotch Wichmann, Sean Stryker, Shawn Robbins, Toby Muresianu, Tom Smith and KayDee Kersten. Click here to see the Facebook page.

If you have only ever frequented Fisherman's Wharf in dark glasses with your out-of-town relatives, Castagnola's is located at 286 Jefferson @ Jones, 94133. Map it, baby.

MONDAY HAPPY HOUR AND COMEDY IN THE T-LOIN

Why not have some beer, wine, Soju cocktails and big laughs in the Tenderloin tonight? Starting at 7 pm it's Monday Happy Hour Comedy at Cafe Royale (800 Post St. @ Leavenworth). Yeah, sure that address is practically Nob Hill, but ever since the T-loin's been put on the National Register everybody's been clamoring to get in.

Tonight's lineup includes Danny Dechi, Katie Compa, Brendan Lynch, Heather Grout and more. FREE -- as in no cover charge.