FLASH MOB: REINDEER RUN, TODAY 3 PM, WESTFIELD MALL

You heard it here first (or maybe second). Flash Mob action this afternoon at 3 pm. The first annual San Francisco "Reindeer Run". Don your funkiest pair of phony antlers and bring something that jingles and head for Union Square. The Mob meets at 3 pm at the Westfield Mall, 865 Market St.

SISTERS OF PERPETUAL INDULGENCE HOST "BARE CHEST BINGO" TONIGHT

This. Is. Not. Your. Grandmother's. Bingo. The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence presents Bare Chest Bingo tonight at 7 pm in the Green Room at the War Memorial Building (401 Van Ness). Get your B-44 on and come on out. Tix are $20 to $40, and as usual, proceeds go to a good cause. Win big prizes, and as the Sisters say themselves, "Come for the hot, bare-chested men and stay for the FREE shit!" We hear that.

Click here to get your tix online now.

HAVE YOU ORDERED YOUR HOLIDAY TURDUCKEN YET?

The turkducken is a uniquely American experience. Hailing from Louisiana and the Deep South, this bad boy chicken-in-a-duck-in-a-turkey roast has made its way north and to the Left Coast. And, 4505 Meats here in San Franny will put one together for you, because lawdy-Miss-Clawdy, don't try to stuff a chicken into a duck into a turkey on your own!

But you can order one -- and then roast it for 18 of your closest friends and relations. 4505 Meats will tell you how. It's a little pricey, at $250 for a 20-pounder. But in addition to the free-range turkey and other free-range birds inside, it's stuffed with cornbread and sausage stuffing. Works out to a little less than $14 per serving. Get the rest of your guestlist to bring the booze and mashed potatoes and you've got a chance to break even.

Turducken orders need to be made by November 18. Email meats@4505meats.com to place your order now.

MISS $1.98 BEAUTY PAGEANT TONIGHT AT THE END-UP

How can you resist? At last (as if) tranny drag queens (remember Trannyshack?) meet cheesy late '70s Chuck Barris "game" show, in which the ugliest contestant wins the grand sum of $1.98. Tonight's event at the Endup Chaser party is hosted by Anna Conda and Monistat. Doors 9 pm. Show goes 'til late. And at $10 a pop to get in, somebody's going home with more than $1.98. High camp! More deets, click here.

The Endup is located at 401 Sixth St. @ Harrison.

CYCLECIDE FUNLAND FUN-RAISER DIY MINI GOLF AND AMUSEMENT PARK

Nothing says Americana like mini golf and an amusement park (and maybe some fireworks on the the 4th of July). Kick off Uncle Sam's 233rd birthday weekend with some traditional US fun (SF values-style, baby). Come one, come all to the Cyclecide Funland Fun-raiser tonight in the Bayshore and celebrate the DIY building of San Francisco's only mini golf and amusement park. Join Cyclecide for an evening of mini putt putt, pedal-powered attractions, punk shows, and refreshments. 7:30 pm, $5-$10. Bayshore at Oakdale.

AIR SEX WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS - TONIGHT

Sure, this sounds like an only-in-SF phenomenon, but note the word "world" here -- this is international, baby. And tonight, the Air Sex World Championships tour stops here, in ye olde Baghdad by the Bay for an evening of heated competition.

8:30 pm
Independent Theater (628 Divisadero)
$15

Check out some video and competition rules. Dude -- it's like Air Guitar, kinda.

More deets.

DID YOU KNOW...?

In San Francisco, lizards, rodents, and vicious Chihuahuas have all been declared service animals. (Read more in the SF Weekly).

(Photo by Jake Poehls)

BRING YOUR OWN BIG WHEEL DOWN HILL RACE

FREE fun for all ages! If your butt can fit on a Big Wheel, then bring it -- and your down hill foot-powered vehicle of choice -- over to San Fran's real Crookedest Street this Sunday at 4 pm and let the games begin.

9th Annual Bring Your Own Big Wheel 2009
Vermont @ 20th St. (backside of Potrero Hill). Band-Aids and stitches not included.

Complete deets here.

SISTERS STILL DOIN' IT FOR THEMSELVES -- EASTER WEEKEND

While the rest of the world's got the Pope to handle their Easter blessing, San Francisco's got the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence to guide us through the Easter holiday weekend. Thank Gawd!

There's a Nun World Order in town as the Sisters celebrate 30 (count 'em 30!) years of outrageously good deeds.

Events range from FREE to suggested $10 donation, starting on Holy Thursday in the Mission, moving on to the Yerba Buena Center for the Arts on Good Friday night, an unholy Saturday night beer bust at the Eagle Tavern and the traditional Easter Sunday bash in Dolores Park. Not to be missed -- the Hunky Jesus contest starts at 3 pm sharp.

After the crown of thorns is placed on this year's Jesus hottie, follow the party from the park to Cafe Flore and the Lookout Cafe for the Sisters' after-party, called (you guessed it)...Afterbirth!

What do you mean Easter wasn't like this back in Kansas?

(Photo courtesy of KT Drasky)

RIDE IN STYLE -- '96 STRETCH LINCOLN LIMO AT YOUR SERVICE

Just because times are tough doesn't mean you have to ride Muni for a night on the town. Why not treat you and your peeps to some riding in style by giving this guy, Mr. Henry Daniels a call. His number is 415-730-5223, and he's ready to pick y'all up (up to all 12 of you!) and chauffeur you around town for $60 an hour. (That's $5 a piece, math majors.) Seriously, you could do worse than being driven around in '96 white Lincoln stretch limo, couldn't you?

Want to book the limo for 3 or more hours? Okay, so that's um ... $180 ... hardly cheap, but there are benefits like the bevs in the 'fridge Henry will stock -- champagne, beer or Yoo-hoo -- you tell him what you want. Remember what it was like in '96? Sure you don't -- but you can be reminded by watching movies on the VHS player and listening to some audio cassettes while you're riding in style.

But wait -- there's more! Between bigger jobs, Henry's just idling on the streets of San Fran. Give him a call and he'll drive you and your friends from one hot spot to another for just $15. What was that number again? 415-730-5223.

5:39 PM -- PIE FIGHT AT THE POWELL ST. CABLE CAR TURNAROUND

Ok -- this is serious (fun). A guy named Herbie Hatman is planning a pie fight tonight at 5:39 pm (because today is 3.5.9, ok?) at the Powell St. cable car turnaround. We're not kidding. BYOP -- that's bring your own pie -- and shaving cream is much preferred to whip cream (cleans up easier). More deets are here -- or, you can send Herbie an email if you're really not sure about this FREE for all.

SISTERS STILL DOIN' IT FOR THEMSELVES -- EASTER WEEKEND

While the rest of the world's got the Pope to handle their Easter blessing, San Francisco's got the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence to guide us through the Easter holiday weekend. Thank Gawd!

There's a Nun World Order in town as the Sisters celebrate 30 (count 'em 30!) years of outrageously good deeds.

Events range from FREE to suggested $10 donation, starting on Holy Thursday in the Mission, moving on to the Yerba Buena Center for the Arts on Good Friday night, an unholy Saturday night beer bust at the Eagle Tavern and the traditional Easter Sunday bash in Dolores Park. Not to be missed -- the Hunky Jesus contest starts at 3 pm sharp.

After the crown of thorns is placed on this year's Jesus hottie, follow the party from the park to Cafe Flore and the Lookout Cafe for the Sisters' after-party, called (you guessed it)...Afterbirth!

What do you mean Easter wasn't like this back in Kansas?

(Photo courtesy of KT Drasky)